Alice walked the length of the garden slowly, stopping from time to time to bury her face in the large roses that were scattered along the path. The sweet scent of lavender and jasmine intermingled, creating a heady perfume. She smiled, feeling such a complete joy in the moment that she could barely contain it.
She loved this garden – it had been one of the first things she had fallen in love with when they had inspected the house, just before their wedding. A rambling two-storey sandstone house, set deep in the Somerset countryside, and yet only five miles from Bath. It had seemed too good to be true. Silas had told her on the last day of their honeymoon that he had purchased it, telling her that they were going to their new home.
She breathed in the spring morning. The grey clouds had dispersed and the sky was a clear blue. Later there might be rain. But for now, she was confident that their little garden party would proceed without a hitch.
Silas was waiting for her near the old gazebo, already instructing the servants to set-up the makeshift table. It was Charlotte’s birthday, and she and Nicholas would be arriving within the hour. It would only be the four of them – Charlotte hadn’t wanted a big party, as she was distracted by preparations for their wedding, which was only three weeks away. But Alice had wanted to mark the occasion in some way, and what better way to do it than a private celebration on a beautiful spring day in their new home?
“Ah, there you are,” called Silas, gazing at her admiringly as she approached. “What do you think – should we start getting the food down here now?”
Alice smiled, walking up to the table, which had just been dressed with her favourite white lace tablecloth. “I think we should wait until they arrive,” she replied. “The food might spoil, and then there are the wasps. They do know how to spoil an outdoor party.”
Silas nodded, taking her hand. “Of course. I should have known you would think of everything, my love.”
They wandered away for a moment, walking hand-in-hand towards their favourite lookout. It was a spot where they often ventured when they strolled through the garden. Here, they could see the rolling green hills that surrounded them in every direction. Stone walls tumbled down, and in the distance there were snowy white sheep, grazing contentedly.
The house was situated only a mile away from Hill Lodge, Nicholas’s country home. Alice had been delighted when Charlotte had told her that after she and Nicolas married, they planned to make it their permanent home. Her best friend and Silas’s would be living close to them. So close that they would see each other regularly, and when children arrived, they would grow up as the best of friends too.
She smiled slowly. Children. She and Silas had been married for three months now, and it was like they were still on honeymoon, spending all of their time together. The nights were full of passion, and the days were filled with shared activities as they brought their home to life. How would the arrival of children change that? Would it complement their lives, or would it disrupt them?
They had never talked about it, content to drift along in their own bubble of love. But perhaps they should talk about it very soon. Her eyes drifted towards her husband. No, now was not the time.
Suddenly, they turned. The sound of chatter drifted towards them.
“They are early,” said Silas, smiling. “I was hoping we could have a few moments together, before the day began.”
“We are here every day by ourselves,” Alice reminded him, smiling as well.
He laughed, pulling her into his arms for a moment and gazing down at her. “It can never be enough with you, Alice. I must admit, I find it hard to share you with anyone. I want you all to myself. Is that selfish?”
A stab of unease entered her heart, even as she gloried in his words. “Come now,” she said, in a low voice. “They will be here, at any moment…”
But he pulled her towards him, kissing her hard, before abruptly releasing her. Alice simply felt dizzy with love. They were more than enough for each other, and she had never known such happiness in her life. Nothing could spoil it…surely? Not even the change that was inevitably coming?
***
Nicholas and Charlotte were radiant, cheerful, chattering away like starlings as they all strolled around the garden, waiting for the food to come from the kitchen.
Alice smiled as she watched them together. It was still so surprising for her, to see them as a loving couple. It had been so sudden, and unexpected – she had still thought that Nicholas was courting Lucy when Charlotte had coyly told her about their new relationship, and she had worried about his reputation as a ladies’ man. She didn’t want her dear friend’s heart broken. But they seemed deliriously happy, and that was the main thing.
“How are the preparations for the wedding going?” she asked Nicholas.
Nicholas rolled his eyes. “You need to ask my fiancée that,” he said, in a droll voice. “I fear she and her mother have taken it over entirely. I have been kept in the dark, and it shall be as much a surprise to me as it is to you, Alice.”
Charlotte hit him lightly on the arm with the back of her hand. “Do not listen to him, Alice! He complains daily, but he is very happy that he does not have an active role in it. More time for him to spend at his club before we leave Bath behind entirely.” She paused. “They are going very well. The dress is almost finished, and the passage on the ship booked for our honeymoon. I think all we need to do is show up at the church.”
“How wonderful,” beamed Alice, clapping her hands together with delight. “I simply cannot wait!”
“I hope it shall be as wonderful as your wedding day, dearest,” said Charlotte. “You looked like a vision of beauty in your gown, and the wedding breakfast your parents arranged was simply the best that I have ever experienced.”
“You are too kind,” said Silas, looking pleased. “Although I must admit, it did all come together very well.” He paused, gazing at Alice. “And my wife was simply the most beautiful creature that I have ever seen when she drifted down the aisle towards me. I am a lucky man, indeed.”
“Very lucky, old chap,” said Nicholas, beaming widely. “As am I.”
Silas looked pensive for a moment. “I cannot help but think that it was all meant to be, now,” he said slowly, staring at them all. “What happened with Marina.” He said her name easily, with no emotion. “If it had not occurred, then I would never have had this happiness, with you, Alice. And perhaps you and Charlotte would never have become each other’s beloved either, Nicholas.”
There was an awkward silence as they all pondered his words. Nicholas and Charlotte looked at each other, seeming like they did not know how to respond at all.
It was hardly surprising, thought Alice. They never mentioned Marina, or what had happened that night at Nicholas’s party. It was as if they all simply wanted to forget about it and put it behind them. Perhaps Nicholas and Charlotte felt that it would be bad luck to mention her. She simply did not know.
She and Silas had not discussed his former fiancée at all since they had been back in England after their honeymoon. The last time they had mentioned her had been that morning, when they had first arrived in Nice. There had seemed no need of it. They were so deliriously happy, and it was in the past. They were both so eager to look to their future together.
Nicholas took a deep breath. “You know, you are right, old chap,” he said slowly. “I have never thought about it in such a way, but it is almost as if it were meant to be. As if fate had this coming, all along.” He hesitated. “I hear about her, from time to time. She has gone from bad to worse, apparently. Her parents despair of her.”
Charlotte nodded. “She is destroying her reputation, slowly but surely. And I cannot help but think that it is well-deserved. Perhaps she is getting her comeuppance, by her own hand after all.”
Silas sighed. “You know, I almost feel sorry for her,” he said slowly. “She is obviously deeply unhappy, to act so recklessly, and so selfishly. How is Lucy, by the way? Has anyone heard from her?”
“Lucy is well,” said Charlotte, smiling. “She is just engaged, to a very fine man. I saw her on Milsom Street just the other day, and she was friendly towards me. She told me she no longer associates with Marina.” She paused. “I was very proud of her, that she has managed to put it all behind her. Poor Lucy, she truly was the meat in the sandwich, wasn’t she?”
“Indeed,” said Alice, thinking of the lady and her distress that night when she finally told Marina’s story. “I always liked Lucy. Perhaps I should call on her when I am next in town.”
Charlotte smiled. “That would be kind, Alice. She did ask after you and seemed so happy when I relayed your news, that you are happily married and enjoying your new home.” She paused. “You shall see her at any rate, very soon. She and her new fiancé have accepted their invitation to the wedding. You shall be able to chat with her there.”
At that moment, the servants arrived with the food.
“Shall we start the picnic?” asked Silas, taking Alice’s hand, smiling.
They all drifted over to the table beneath the gazebo chattering lightly. The conversation easily moved on to the wedding again as they filled their plates with chicken legs, slabs of cheese, and crusty bread.
Alice felt a deep glow of contentment. The last hurdle had been overcome, the ice well and truly broken. Now, going forward, they would all talk easily of Marina and her sorry life without any dread of it.
She gazed at her husband. She loved him more in this moment than she ever had before, remembering his words. That he was glad that it had all happened the way that it had, for it had led them all to each other and this supreme happiness.
She couldn’t have put it better herself.
***
Later that afternoon, after Nicholas and Charlotte had finally left, they relaxed in the parlour, in front of a crackling fire. It still got cold in the late afternoons, and the cosy atmosphere was welcome.
She gazed at her husband, in his favourite upholstered armchair, reading a book. She thought about his comment earlier in the day, that she was more than enough for him. That he had no desire to be with anyone but her and selfishly guarded their time together.
Another twinge of uneasiness shot through her. This was as good a time as any. She could not delay it any longer. He would start to notice soon, and then what would she say?
“Silas,” she said, putting down her embroidery, on the side table. “There is something I must talk to you about.”
He glanced up, placing down his book. “What is it, my love? You sound terribly solemn.”
She sighed deeply. Now that she had started this conversation, she did not have any idea how to proceed. She twisted her hands together in her lap, overcome with nerves.
“Alice?” He was frowning, now. “Please, just tell me. You have gone pale, and I can tell when you are upset. What is it, my darling?”
She took a deep, ragged breath. She just had to spit it out before she lost her courage entirely.
“There is going to be a change to our lives,” she said slowly, her heart thudding in her chest. “A big change. I am with child.”
His green eyes widened in shock. Slowly, he stood up, approaching her, kneeling at her chair, and taking her hands in his.
“Are you sure?” he whispered, his eyes raking over her.
She nodded quickly. “Fairly sure. I have not had my monthly courses in over two months, and there are other changes, besides.” She grimaced. “My breasts are tender, and I am starting to feel nauseous in the mornings. When I spoke of it with my mother the other day, she told me these are all signs that a little one is on the way.”
He looked stunned, simply staring at her as if she had suddenly sprouted another head.
Her heart sank. “You are not happy, are you?”
He took a deep breath, tightening his grip on her hands. “I am simply shocked,” he said slowly, shaking his head. “I do not know why. After all, we have been making love constantly, and it is a result of it, after all. But the thought of a child simply never crossed my mind…”
She blinked back tears. “Shocked, but pleased?” She hesitated, staring at him intently. “Oh, my love, it is big news, indeed…”
His face suddenly cleared, like the sun chasing away clouds on a grey day. His eyes lit up. The transformation was astonishing. Her heart started to lurch with hope as she watched him.
“A child,” he whispered, looking as if someone had handed him a surprise gift. “Our very own child. A baby, that you and I have created, Alice…”
Her heart soared at his words. He was coming around to the idea of becoming a father. She had so longed for it, to see that joy on his face, a corresponding joy to what she had been feeling since she had finally admitted the truth to herself.
She had been fearful when she had first acknowledged the signs. A child was a huge responsibility, and childbirth was perilous. She was a small woman – how could she accommodate a child within her body? All of the eternal worries that her mother had re-assured her were quite natural and normal.
She was glad she had talked of it finally with her. Her mother’s excitement at the prospect of her first grandchild was palpable. It had finally made it real for Alice, and she had let herself feel joy for the first time. To contemplate the enormity of it, and for her heart to fill with wonder about what her baby would be like. To finally picture that child in her mind, and dream of the nursery, and all the beautiful things she would buy for it.
But she had been worried still, about Silas. She knew that he liked their life exactly the way that it was. And then his comment earlier about jealously guarding their time together had heightened it. Would it change their relationship, but not in a good way? Would he feel resentful of the child, thinking it was taking her away from him in some way?
“I am over the moon,” he whispered, his face utterly transformed now, with joy. “Our child! Our first child! Why, it is amazing. A miracle…”
Alice laughed, her heart filled with relief. “Hardly a miracle, my love. People have babies every day, after all.”
But he shook his head vigorously. “It is a miracle, Alice. The miracle of life.” His eyes raked over her. “To think, we have created life together. Why, it is the most brilliant thing that ever happened in the history of mankind!”
She laughed harder. He grabbed her, pulling her into his arms and tenderly kissing her head. She felt the quick beat of his heart next to her own.
“I cannot wait,” he whispered, into her hair. “I cannot wait to meet him or her. A perfect union of both of us.” He paused. “You have made me the happiest man in the world, my love. Before you told me, I did not think I could possibly be any happier – that life could not get any better than this. But I was wrong. You have made it better, as you always do. I love you so very much, my darling…”
She couldn’t help it. Tears started trickling down her cheeks at his words. Her heart was so full she thought it would surely burst.
He pulled back, staring into her face solemnly. “You are my life, Alice. And now, when our child arrives, it will complete us.” He shook his head in amazement. “To think what my life would have been without you. I was so very close to missing out on this love entirely…”
“Hush,” she whispered, stroking his face tenderly. “As you said earlier, it was always meant to be. That harsh past has led us here, to this happiness, and I for one would not change a minute of it.”
“Nor would I,” he said, his own eyes filling with tears. “Nor would I.”
They embraced fiercely again, clinging to each other as if they were adrift at sea. Alice sighed, closing her eyes. All of her needless worries fled, like startled birds, out of the window.
It was always meant to be. She had dreamed of a love like this, since she had been a little girl, and she had finally found it. The road to each other had been rough and littered with debris, but it had been worth it. She would not change a single thing.
A loving husband. A beautiful home. Great friends. And now a child on its way. A perfect fusion of both of them.
She simply could not wait, for the next chapter of their lives together to begin.
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